Pretty Spot

IMG_2510, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

Even though the sun wasn't shining I could still appreciate the beauty of this little waterfall and creek at the Millcroft Inn in Elora Ontario.

I have been extremely delinquent with my posts but I have been busy. On the weekend I took my 2nd level Reiki course. Very interesting and much still to learn. When I stop and think about everything it still seems like so much hocus pocus and hard to believe. But, when I practice it and can feel various effects, it is hard to deny. The other thing of note is that I am a much calmer person on the inside than before and I also seem to have more appreciation for each moment of the day. Enjoying the present, not just waiting for what's going to happen next.

I'm loving it and if I can bring some healing to others, even better.

Sunflowers rock

Isn't this beautiful. My neighbour planted a row of sunflowers against his house and my bedroom window has a marvelous view. I took this picture with my Canon SD200 Digital Elph on one of the finer settings. When viewed in larger sizes you can see that there is a bee having a little feast in the upper left of the shot. Soon it will be all seeds and the birds will be having their fun! And probably waking me up very early to do so.

March of the Penguins

What an amazing film. We went last night, expecting some nice photography of Antarctica and of course Penguins. I had no idea how amazing the story of the Emperor Penguins' winter migration would be. I kept wondering about how God or Mother Nature or whomever, could possibly have made such a strange creature with such a difficult existence. It is certainly a movie that everyone should see at some point. The love and dedication they show in efforts to reproduce against all odds is just awe inspiring. This is one movie I will definitely be purchasing for the home library. I will make sure it is seen by all.

My home office!

No you may not form a union!, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

This is what it's like working from home. Although today I had not planned on working at all. Unfortunately though, my golf partner cancelled on me which is a crying shame with the weather being perfect etc. But, what's a girl to do. So I have used the time to get my expenses done, do a little research into ParagonCRT which is an alternative to laser eye surgery. Apparently it is still pretty new because I can't find anyone in Ottawa doing it.

Friends and Lovers

Angry Man!, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

I can't help but look back over the years and I'll limit these impressions to the past 20+.

This past weekend we went to a friend's cottage for the weekend. The cottager is someone with whom I worked back in about 1982. Another couple was invited as well. Also friends dating back to 1982. And then there is the pseudo-angry man in the picture. I first met him around 1982 when I was married with small children. He was new to Canada and a single guy looking for a life here. We hit it off as friends immediately. Over the years we maintained our friendship even though we each were following different paths. I stayed put with my husband raising my children and building on the ideals of marriage and family. For him, his job took him to a number of other cities while he searched for what was important to him. A wife and a family. He eventually found the person who would become his wife and had the children who are now part of him.

Over time he moved away to the other side of the continent but we kept up our friendship. Eventually, my marriage came to an ugly end which I communicated to him via email. He called immediately to express his condolences and ensure that I was okay. Several years later he sent me an email where I sensed that he was far less than happy. I called. Yes, he and his wife were seperating but moving back here.

It seemed so natural for me to be his friend upon arrival in the city. Someone to help him find a place to live. My home was a safe comfortable place where he could bring his daughters on the weekends when he had them. It didn't take long before our long standing friendship blossomed into something more.

And now, I have been living with my friend, my lover, for the past three years. Gradually we have gotten into a rhythm of life which includes his teenage children and my grown children.

Looking back at last weekend with our friends, I couldn't help but feel the peace in spending the weekend with people I have known for 23 years.

The only difference is 23 years ago he and I were not together. Now we are and very happy.

Call it karma or whatever you like. It works for me.

Time to relax

IMG_1861, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

From the end of May to the end of June I work hard at planting pots and gardens, cleaning up the yard and patio, and this year, purchased a new bistro set so that there is always a place to stop and sip a cup of coffee or even better, a glass of wine. The problem remains though that there is so little time to enjoy it. Some days I feel like I've been held hostage by the weekend weather gods and the weekday work responsibilities. Yes, it does always seem that Mondays are sunny. However, this year, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back and start living more in the moment without letting life's pressures get in the way of that.

I recently took a Reiki course and now am fairly diligently practicing on myself daily and on Dave every couple of days. Yes, I can feel the energy flow and it is a very empowering feeling. I think the biggest change that I will acknowledge, apart from physical well being, is a feeling of peace and I think personal confidence. If I am noticing changes in just a week and a half, I feel hopeful that several months down the road the positive effects will be even more profound.

Oh, I have also lost 7 pounds which probably helps too! Reiki doesn't get credit for that though. Dr. Atkins and a good dose of will power are responsible for that. Of course, perhaps the Reiki attitude is helping with the will power. Either way, I'm feeling pretty good.

Whitney

Whitney Ouch, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

And this is Whitney. She may not look it but she too is a German Shorthair Pointer. She is 8 years old and weighs in at about 59 lbs. She is about 4 in. shorter than Max and not near as smart. I know, that my seem a little mean, but she'll never read this. Whitney is very different from Max in many ways. When we moved to this house in 2002 she began to develop some nerosies and is now on 'anti anxiety' medication. Yes, that is just like the human stuff only hers is called "Clomicalm". Isn't that cute. She is a sweetheart to be around. Her only downfall is that when she is on a leash she insists on acting tough and agressive with any dog passing by. Even those little ones that resemble a knotted ball of string, she has to view as a threat and let them know whose boss.

Oh well, as long as no one gets hurt, right?

A Dog's Life

Max Ouch, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

This is Max and he is one of my best friends of all time ever. Max my 10 year old German Shorthair Pointer and was just at the vet for his annual check up and shots. He weighs 68.5 lbs and has the heart and lungs and energy of a 2 year old. You can see in the picture that a little blood was required before he could have his heart-worm meds prescribed. Whitney is in the picture above. She had her check up done at the same time, received her shots, had blood taken, and received her prescription as well. The bill was $469 of my hard earned dollars. These are the things I think of most when I hear someone say, gee, I'm thinking of getting a dog! People tend to think that dogs are a necessity for growing children but they really are a luxury item when you think of the costs. I really don't regret a penny because they continue to bring me so much joy. They are beautiful creatures with beautiful souls. Well, at least mine are.

A couple of weeks ago my sister was walking one of her dogs, a 13 yr old small mutt named Bandit, and was attacked by the neighbour's 2 Great Danes! They basically broke their way out of a fenced yard to attack Bandit. My sis fought with fists and feet to get the Danes away but they just knocked her down and turned back to attack Bandit. Finally a passing car stopped and the lady got out to help and the Danes backed off. Bandit was rushed to the vet and had some serious repair work done. My sis was badly shaken but not otherwise injured which was just lucky. The owners of the Danes indicated that they just wanted to play and have paid the vet bill. What they haven't done, is secure the dogs. The dogs are still allowed in the yard, unsupervised, and able to escape at will. My sister is now afraid to walk in her own neighbourhood. The OPP were to be paying them a visit but as yet, no results.

So dogs are a luxury, they are wonderful friends, but they are also a huge responsibility and I think that is what many forget. They are not just a fad or a new interest. They are a lifetime of work and care. But for me, worth every minute, dollar and cent.

Working from home

Working from home, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

I find working from home to be the best option lately. It does take some discipline to keep from being distracted however it is worth it. The time I would normally spend driving to work I can now spend on my patio or waterinig the gardens. One step inside and it's back to corporate life!

What you can't see from this photo is that there are two dogs keeping me company most of the time. And to the right is a view of my front garden. I can step outside my office and head to the kitchen at a moments notice to make a fresh cup of tea.

Truly a better way to work!

Hide and Peek

I met this curious little guy at the Westin Hotel in Santa Clara. I was there for a day attending a training class and started by strolling the grounds before being locked into a meeting room. This guy was using the palm tree as a vantage point from which to eat as many rosebuds as he could reach. He certainly wasn't intimidated by me.

Hide and Peek, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

Homecoming

DSCN23040165, originally uploaded by Jay Lee.

I like this picture of me and my honey! I had just returned from New York and cabbed over to our friends' home where we were to have dinner. Dinner was great and so was the conversation. It was a great start to a gloomy long weekend.

Rainy Old England, or should I say Olde !

IMG_1142, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

I recently was able to spend a week in England with my sister. I highly recommend this as an activity for any siblings who have managed to hit their fifties and not taken a vacation together.

To see pictures of our week, go to http://flickr.com/photos/withatwist/sets/327168/

As you will see from viewing the pics, we stayed in a flat in Windsor and had a great time exploring the town and of course, the castle. Additionally, I was able to connect with an old friend who took us on a fabulous day tour of the English countryside. Henley on Thames, Sonning.... strolling along the Thames and through the villages was wonderful. In Sonning we were caught admiring some flowering shrubs by the elderly owner who then invited us into his walled garden behind the house. He took us from plant to plant telling us a story about each one. We were invited into his ramshackle greenhouse to experience the aroma of his newly flowering Jasmine. He eventually sent us on our way, each with a Magnolia to enjoy.

A wonderful vacation in all. Site seeing, friends, and time with my Sis.

Ground Zero at night

Ground Zero at night, originally uploaded by With A Twist.

While in New York on a business trip I really struggled with whether or not I wanted to see ground zero. After 3 days I decided that it was important to me, and for me, to go and pay respect. We should never forget what happened that day.

On Adoption

Ah, the twists and turns.

There has been a lot in the news about an Ontario bill which if passed will open up all adoption records unless someone specifically puts in their records a request for 'no contact'. It has been interesting reading the letters in the op ed pages, each one expressing a different point of view based on their experience. Even I had to venture out and write my first letter in response to one letter I read.

Let me first give you the background on which my viewpoint is based. Some twists and turns that have shaped who I am.

In early 1969 at the ripe old age of 18, I was engaged to a man. There were many reasons at the time however looking back, none of them were valid. That June I discovered I was pregnant after falling for the old 'you won't get pregnant on your first time' routine. Oh to be that naive! That pregnancy was a defining moment in my life as it made me take a step back and look at what the future may hold and whether or not I was on the right track. I took a look at the man himself and what our future would be and whether or not we were capable of providing a happy, healthy, loving and secure environment for the child I was carrying. I decided that we were not.

And so, I chose a different path for my baby and for me. I knew I had choices to make but for some reason abortion wasn't one of them for me. I decided to give my baby up for adoption. My first step was to break off the engagement even though my fiance wanted to marry and keep the baby. I know many fathers might argue that I didn't have the right to make the decision on my own, but I did. I then broke the news to my family and took the appropriate steps to enable adoption through The Children's Aid Society.

My daughter was born on December 20, 1969, weighing a healthy 8lbs 12oz. I chose not to see her at birth at the request of my mother. I went to court on January 10th 1970 and gave up my rights.

During my visits to the CAS prior to her birth it was never really made clear to me what my rights actually were or were not. It wasn't until many years later when I started investigating that I discovered I basically had none and had to trust that the CAS had done their job and had found my daughter a suitable home. I married in 1976 (to a different man) and had my first son in 1977. In 1979 when we decided that we wanted another child I felt I couldn't do so unless I was sure that my daughter had been adopted and wasn't still in foster care. We would adopt her back if that was the case. After some letter writing and a number of phone calls the CAS verified that she had been placed with adoptive parents when she was one month old and the adoption was finalized six months later, and the file was now closed.

And so I got on with my life. My second son was born in 1980. We carried on as a family but every moment of every day she was still with me. I frequently wondered how her life had turned out and wondered if she would ever search for me or, if she even knew that she was adopted. When she turned 18 I registered with the Adoption Disclosure Agency and joined Parent Finders which is an org that helps reunite people who have been seperated by adoption. My goal at the time was to make myself available to be found. I couldn't stand the thought that she might be looking and unable to contact me.

As the years continued, my goal changed and I became much more determined. I wanted to know that she was all right. I wanted to know that I had made the right decision. I wanted to know her. I spent many many hours, nights and weekends, searching records at the National Archives, High School year books, Birth/Adoption announcements and so on. I received 'non identifying' information from the CAS about the people who adopted her and drove all over looking at houses trying to determine if they fit the very general description of their home in 1970 when they adopted her. Crazy, I know. I also got in the habit of putting a personal ad in the paper each year and running it from just before her birth date until after Christmas, knowing that this is a time when adoptees might be inclined to search. In December of 1991 I decided that I had to stop. I was emotionally exhausted and the cost of running the ad was significant to our family budget especially at Christmas time.

However, at the urging of my sister, I ran the ad one more time. Only this time just in the small local papers surrounding the area where the adoption had been finalized. I put my sister's phone number in the ad as we were going to be there for a few days and hers was a local number.

On December 20th, 1991, my daughter's 22nd birthday, my sister received a call. It was from a young man named Jeff who had been just reading the real estate ads as he and his fiancee were thinking of buying a house. The personals appeared on the same page and he noticed the ad. He said "my fiancee is adopted and this is her birthdate but this isn't her name". My sister explained that what was listed was her birth name and that her adoptive parents most likely had changed it. He said his girlfriend was out for the evening but he would show her the ad in the morning and he promised to call us back.

I could write and write and write about this experience but I will leave it for today at, I met my daughter for the first time on December 21st., 1991.

What a rush!

How much easier would it have been if our records had been open?

A shopping nightmare

On my way home from the Glebe the other day I decided to stop in at Shopper's Drug Mart at Bank and Walkley. First of all, this particular mall has an extremely poorly laid out entrance/exit to the parking lot. On a good day, I get annoyed just driving in there. As I pulled in I encountered an abnormal number of older model, 4 door sedans being driven by people who could barely see over the steering wheel. The next thing I noticed was that many of these cars were already parked but many of these were straddling the lines.

I took a few deep breaths and waited for my moment and then found a remote spot where my Jetta's doors might be spared. I then went into the store where I only needed to pick up two items. That is when I really questioned the wisdom of going there at all.

As you may have guessed..... Senior's Discount Day at Shopper's Drug Mart. Every aisle was blocked by blue-rinsed ladies and balding gentlemen pushing their carts up and down the aisles searching for bargains. The unfortunate truth is that this will be each of us, all too soon. Short sighted dolls reading every lable before putting it in the basket. I took yet another deep breath, grabbed my items and headed to the line ups at the cash. I patiently stood in line taking interest in what people were purchasing at this discount bonanza, when the lady in front of me, the only one between me and the cash, discovered she had forgotten something. So she left. Yes, she left her cheque book and wallet and open purse on the counter and toddled off to find what she had forgotten, leaving the cashier, and me, in limbo. She did eventually return and I of course completed my purchase and vowed, never again.

Always check to see if it's seniors day before you leave home!

In Favour of Marriage

Well I just discovered that being an occasional blogger has its problems. For instance, I haven't logged on in a while and totally forgot my login and password sequence. Of course, due to age induced short term memory loss this could happen at anytime.It has been a wonderful sunny and warm (15C) weekend here. Today managed to do a little puttering around the outside of the house in prep for even warmer days when I can sit outside and master the role of 'porch monkey'.

Yesterday's highlight was a trip downtown to participate in the march supporting the traditional definition of marriage. I'm glad we went. I guess the humourous part was that we were two divorcees, living common law, marching in support of marriage. I guess my main reason for being there is not that I am against gays having unions, I just don't want it called marriage. Changing the definition of marriage for the majority, just to satisfy a very small minority doesn't make sense to me. All rights attributed to marriage are already provided to gay unions. There is no need to change the meaning of marriage. I specifically don't think that it is right that, if Bill 38 passes from now on when I am asked 'are you married' the answer will no longer imply to the opposite sex.Well, all in all it was a great day with beautiful sunshine and a nice lunch in Darcy McGees.Picks can be seen at http://www.flickr.com/photos/withatwist/sets/221255/

25 Years, Where have they gone?

Today is the the 25th birthday of my youngest child. With the recent family events I can only be thankful that we are all healthy and together to celebrate. For those out there just beginning their marriages and families, treasure every moment because you never get them back.

There is nothing more precious than family. Especially your children. I received an email from my 35 year old daughter whom I gave up for adoption at birth. We have been reunited for 13 years now. Her email was to wish her brother a Happy Birthday and to send her love to all of us from all of them (including my 2 grandchildren). Life is too short to waste time on placing blame or thinking about regrets.

Cherish what you have. Only look back to learn from your mistakes so that you don't make the same ones again. You can only look forward and commit to live your life to the highest standards.

Just Back from San Francisco

And I gotta tell ya... boy do americans ever have customer service down to a science. Well, outside of the airport that is. When it comes to restaurants, hotels, retail etc. they are outstanding. On a trip to Macey's I was blown away by the professionalism all the staff exhibited. All were so pleasant and helpful and with a smile. Not like what we get here in Canada. Surly part timers who display permanent scowls when you interupt them from their cell phone chats. This is after you have had to fend for yourself through the messy and overcrowded racks of poorly displayed clothing, and then brave the filthy fitting rooms where they count how many pieces you are taking in with you and of course will only allow 5 pieces and they don't understand that when you are trying on suits it is definitely going to be an even number!

We have a lot to learn.

Lazy Day Sunday

Well, first of all I'm glad I still had a decent picture to use. Well at least I think it is decent but others may differ.

As I sit here in my office, Dave and his older daughter Dalia are discussing homework, school, careers and the future in general. It amazes me how insightful he is and how much he has to offer them. What he does best is steer them so that they look at things from a different point of view.

Blog Learning Curve

If anyone could see how painful this is! Even though this is great software, it is still difficult to find how to easily post pictures and update profiles etc. I suppose I could read the HELP info but that would seem to logical.

'With a Twist' is the key !

Life is always exciting however what makes it most interesting are the twists and turns that take us in unexpected directions from time to time. It is how we handle the twists and turns that defines who we are.